


My Not Apologies

by Light_Thistle



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Light_Thistle/pseuds/Light_Thistle
Summary: After the war, Azula is forced to travel with Aang. She refuses to even look at his scar.
Relationships: Aang/Azula (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	My Not Apologies

“I’m not going to apologize,” the young princess said, brushing the flying bison’s fur.

Aang was on the other side of Appa, brushing his third leg. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his scar was visible all over his back, as if someone had thrown mud and blood at him. 

Aang looked up, confused. “What?”

“Do you call that brushing?” asked Azula, always a perfectionist. “You’ll have to do it again.”

“Apologize for what? Did you spend all the money on strawberries again?”

“Of course not, that’s ridiculous. And it only happened once,” replied Azula rolling her eyes.

She had been traveling with the Avatar for the past year, under such unusual circumstances that it was still hard to believe. After some time in the madhouse where Zuko had locked her up, it had become more than evident that no one could help her if she didn’t want to. Her very existence was a danger to Zuko’s reign. Her brother had tried visiting her, talking to her, but the poison between them was too deep. Azula suspected that poison would always be there.

It was then that the Avatar, of all people, interceded for her. He somehow convinced Zuko that his sister needed to go through her healing path on her own, just like he had done years ago.

That was how her brother, the Fire Lord Zuko gave her a choice. She could be free again, but the most precious thing that any citizen of the Fire Nation possessed, her honor, would be linked to the Avatar from then on. She would travel with him as his bodyguard. She would help him keep the peace between the nations. That would be her mission and her sentence. And if she escaped or betrayed the Avatar, she would lose her honor forever and history would remember her as a traitor to her country. Azula knew they would probably also lock her up for good and throw away the key. His brother’s reign was still fragile and he couldn’t risk her trying to kill him.

Azula knew perfectly well that she could regain the throne if she wanted to. But she didn’t want to. There was no one to impress anymore.

So there was the princess, almost a year later, traveling the world with the young Avatar who had once been her worst enemy on the other side of the war.

“So why do you want to apologize?”

“I said I’m not going to apologize,” replied Azula, brushing Appa’s neck. “You were on your side of the war and I was on mine. You won, but I’m-not-going-to-apologize.”

“Oh, I see,” said Aang slowly, studying her reaction. “You don’t need to apologize. I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that I don’t want your forgiveness? You haven’t been paying attention. I didn’t do anything wrong,” she replied, brushing harder. “Everything I did was in the service of my nation.”

“There are certain limits to what is right to do out of patriotism, princess. You know that.”

“You were my enemy. No, there wasn’t.”

“So that’s it,” replied Aang, leaving the brush aside and putting on his shirt. “My scar.”

Azula crossed her arms, refusing to look away in defiance.

“As I said before, I have already forgiven you,” said the Avatar with a smile. “But I think it’s you who need forgive yourself.”

“It was a war. There is nothing to forgive.”

“That’s fine,” replied Aang simply, satisfied with the simplicity of their conversation. The first two months of their trip, Azula hadn’t even talked to him about anything other than his safety. Her ‘bodyguard’ seemed content to remain silent and ignore his existence for days. Aang would be lying if he said it wasn’t awkward at first, but over time their relationship had progressed to the point of basic and more or less normal conversations.

Aang knew he had made the right decision when he asked Zuko for permission to take his sister away. Not only because he was convinced that the mental hospital was in no condition to encourage any chance of Azula’s recovery, but because his former enemy could be a formidable ally in his duties as the Avatar. Azula was a genius and an expert in strategy and politics. He was convinced that the princess could do a lot of good for the world if she wanted to.

He still didn’t know if she did, but he would accept any advance as a small step in the right direction. Their time together was, after all, her chance to heal. That was the priority. Help a person who needed help.

“You’re doing it again, Avatar.”

“What thing, Princess?”

“Let me have the last word just because you don’t want to argue,” she said with a frown. “As if I were a wild animal that should not be provoked.”

“I don’t think that and you know it,” replied the young Avatar softly but firmly. “You say you have nothing to apologize for and I respect that. I understand. Like you said, it was a war. I’m not going to apologize for what I did to your father either. He had to be stopped at all costs. But the war is over now,” he said walking towards her and staying still by her side. Azula continued to brush the bison without giving him the satisfaction of looking at him. “Wouldn’t be better to leave the past behind and look towards the future? Wouldn’t you be happier?" 

Azula threw the brush away, breathing hard through ber tightly pressed lips. "Don’t be ridiculous,” she said without turning around. “I have no future.”

“Of course you have-”

“Open your eyes, Avatar,” she said in frustration, but not anger, just resignation. “Wherever I go I will always be a pariah. Even in my own home. Or do you not see the hatred in the eyes of the people in every town we visit?”

“It won’t always be like this,” replied Aang softly, smiling at the princess. “It may not seem like it, but time heals all wounds. Even the deepest ones.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said with a shrug. “I haven’t really lost anything. I’ve never been loved, Avatar. I have accepted that it will simply never be a part of my life.”

“You’re loved.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are loved, Azula.” For a moment he thought about mentioning Zuko or Ursa, but quickly decided not to. “I know that you think it is foolish, and that you don’t feel much hope right now. But even if my people didn’t profess love for all living beings, I’ll always try to have my heart open to anyone who needs help. Or who needs a friend. And after all our time together, I must know I care about you. I would like to be your friend, if you allow me.”

Azula didn’t answer him, her mind calculating all the chances that the Avatar was manipulating her to win her favor. For what purpose? She no longer possessed political or military power. Was the Avatar trying to use her talents and strength? It must be that, because there was no other option but-

The Avatar stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug.

Azula’s instinct was to shake him off, before feeling something she couldn’t remember ever feeling. Something so alien to her that she considered it an invention of fiction, like ghosts. Love. It was a warm feeling deep in her stomach, making her eyes feel heavy and for just a moment, everything stopped hurting. The Avatar radiated love like a burning coal radiated heat.

With wet eyes, Azula returned the hug.


End file.
